Sunday, January 4, 2009

Fashion Funny

I am what I call Fashion Funny, that is that I have a funny shape and the latest fashions don't fit me. My current issue is with the Beanie hat. I see many other people who look great in Beanie hats and the hats cover their ears. Not only does Beanie not cover my ears but it also makes me look like i have a condom on my head. I have never been a fan of the hats that have the pom poms dangling down by the shoulder and the tufty pom pom on top because several girls I have seen with them look like jumped right off the pages of a Dr. Seuss book.

I can't find a good pair of jeans either. You would think that with all the different styles and cuts that something would fit, but once again I have a pretty funny figure. I have the typical white girl figure, not very curvy but not stick straight, except unlike many white girls I have a butt. It's pretty hard trying to squeeze said butt into a pair of jeans that were not made to accommodate it. Now that I have had a child I also have something called hips, more to try and stuff in!

Shirts are often too short. I am by no means tall, standing at only 5 foot 2 inches I am typically restricted to the petite sections. I am noticing that while shirts come in wider sizes, they don't come in longer sizes. it didn't matter much when i was a teen, but now my belly button doesn't want to play peek-a-boo anymore.

Bless me and my fat feet that don't fit into any shoes, well they fit into wide sizes but stores rarely carry them. Forget about finding those really cute heels in a wide size or better yet, knee high boots. As cute as those boots are, I'm starting to think that they aren't worth my circulation being cut off at my ankle or my calf getting pinched by the zipper.

I think that the people who make panties are trying to play tricks on us. They make them so that they fit comfortably around your hips but then the butt is too narrow and your constantly pulling wedgies out all day. And try wearing a thong, first of all the thong part is rarely long enough to fit all the way around and after an hour of wearing it you start thinking its sawing through your rear end.

Am I doomed to live out the rest of my days wearing my husband's clothes? Because right now it seems like the only clothes and shoes that fit me (that cover everything) are men's.

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